By 8:30am pitocin is running and I'm having contractions 2 minutes apart. Pain scale...? TOTALLY bearable. Dean goes back home to spend time with the children as I'm a little nervous about just leaving them when we don't leave them often. So he spends the morning there, puts them down for their naps and by the time he heads back to the hospital I'm in some serious pain and I'm 4cm dialated so thats nice! I decide to get my water broken at 4cm to speed things along. Wow...since I had an excess of amniotic fluid since 20wk pg...there was a LOT of water and all of a sudden pain got really intense with each contraction.
By the way...my decison with this labor was NO epidural since I did NOT have good experiences with it in my first two labors! (I had horrid reactions with Tirzah and with Zion it was just way worse...bp dropping, fainting, throwing up etc etc). So I was quite terrified of that happening again and since I'm quite stubborn when I make up my mind to do something...I was confident that I could handle it natural.
I'm trying to make a very long, hard, insane day...fit onto a few short paragraphs and thats not easy here! :) I got to 6cm pretty quickly and felt hopeful things would keep up the pace. But ... it slowed. The pain and contractions were hard and fast and 2minutes apart still. ... but my progress seemed to die. I think the most discouraging part for me was that Azlan was still wayyyyyyyy up there (in the nurse's words) and I had seen and heard from all my ultrasounds that his head was measuring 1 mth ahead so I was quite nervous that he wasn't going to come very easily. Well at 7cm I agreed to take a shot of Stadol. The nurse found it quite funny that when she was telling me I'd act drunk with this med...I didn't know what that was going to be like. She said I was soon to find out and I SURE DID!!! You know, I still haven't watched the video Dean recorded of me...b/c its rather embarassing...but I guess I acted like a complete moron. What a nice husband I have to video me!! LOL! :) The Stadol DID take the edge of the contraction, it did NOT take the pain away by any stretch but it allowed me to breathe. Well...sadly...I had 2 more shots of it that had no effect besides making me feel dizzy and loopy. The nurse said it often only has an effect the first time and since I was in transition and 7cm ... it wouldnt' work. Well this is when things got bad! I finally got to 8cm with a baby that was STILL IN -3 STATION!!!! I had never known such pain in my entire life and it really felt like there was no way my body could physically handle many more contractions. Dean had to count to 10 just to get me to breathe through them...if not I'd just hold my breath and cry. After being so certain that it was time for him to be born and constantly being told "nope, still 8cm" I was anxious to talk to my OB ... he came in...and I was wanting to go for the c-section. I just knew he had to come out NOW and I couldnt' handle it anymore!!! Remember this is now hour THIRTEEN of the highest dose of Pitocin (most docs in our hospital will only give 25cc's, my OB gives 40cc's and I was up to 40!!!) induced labor and feeling every bit of it! Well my doc insists I talk to the EPI MAN as we call him...and he comes in telling me there is no way I will react to HIS EPIDURAL b/c in 30yrs he's never seen such a reaction. I was not buying it at all despite knowing I had the strength for about 2 more contractions left before I happily slipped into unconsciousness! But he said he'd give me a VERY low dose, not enough to numb me, but enough to relax my body to dialate completely AND that he'd stay in the room with me b/c I was so scared of having the same reaction I'd had with Tirzah and Zion. SO I went for it...Dean was very impressed with this doc! He had about 12 seconds in between contractions where I was pain-free and thats all the time he had to prep me, and get the epidural needle completely in and have me laying back down b/c THERE WAS NO WAY I COULD SIT STILL THROUGH A CONTRACTION and he knew it! BUT he did it! and wouldn't you know it...about 15minutes later I was 10cm and ready to go. Well after an insane labor AND delivery...(this baby didn't exactly come out on the first push!!!!) he was born and I was trying to see through my tears b/c I lived the last 20 wks of this pregnancy LONGING for this moment and it was here!!!!
He was screaming (GOOD THING :) and they cleaned him up, made sure he was breathing ok and then I finally got to hold him!!! Here is that FIRST MOMENT :
Now I know what everyone else sees when they look at this picture, but thats not what I saw. I saw the most perfect little boy that I have loved for 9 months and simply dreampt of this moment for so long. I was in love. He was perfect and all I wanted to do was hold him close and let him know just how beautiful and perfect he is to me. Funny how having such a hard day is completely and instantly over in one moment and I can actually smile!
Mama and Azlan...just moments old.
2 comments:
What a wonderful exciting day, a new grandson, what an honor to welcome little azlan into our hearts and lives, Even tho we are many miles away, his mommy will send us pictures every day, which we look forward to. WE LOVE YOU DARLING LITTLE AZLAN.
Even though I know this entire story, I cried when I read the part about you knowing that everyone else saw his cleft and you just saw the beautiful boy you had been dreaming of...I love it...he is an angel on earth.
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